{ fancy - FREE friday GRAND FINALE }

It's  h e r e . . .

The Mean Mommy Fancy Free Grand Finale Winners!

I know.  Virtual Firework Shows ROCK.

Did you enter last week?

Are you wondering if you won?

Are you squiggling in your seats?

Are you having trouble breathing?

Is your tummy full of butterflies?

 Well, here's what you must do.  And I promise, it won't be painful AT ALL.

Click on this word right

- - - > H E R E < - - -

And get ready for an adventure of 

Oompa Loompa-ic Proportions.

It's even better than Virtual Firework Shows. 

{ *#@&%$*! }

{I  couldn't think of a good title for this post.} 

Here's my beef.  I have attended many a baby/bridal shower in my lifetime.  And it's an unwritten rule {I don't know why} that one must play those silly games there.  You know, the kind where you can win an extra phenomenal gift or prize or candy bar.  The games where you guess the baby food or spices, or those Totally RIGGED Memory Games.  Curse them.  They're rigged, I tell ya.  I haven't been able to figure out the secret yet.  Just when I think "Yes!  This is the day.  This is the day I will FINALLY win!",  BAMMM!!!!  Someone's Grandma or Aunt or BFF dishes out a Heavy Dose of Sneak Attack and CLAIMS the prize that was supposed to be MINE!!!!  Let me tell ya, if you want to win at the memory game, please make sure you bring me along.  I will personally guarantee winnings for and yours.  

It's not fair.  And they have a sign for it.

Actually, I did win a prize at a bridal shower.  Once.  But that's because there were 3 people there and three prizes to be given away.  I was bound to win one of them.  YAY!!!!  But that is it.  I have pretty much given up on giveaways, because my luck is like that of the rabbit who lost its foot to someone's keychain.  I can't even win a blasted candy bar.  And forget Fairs or Carnivals.  {Which I KNOW are rigged.}  

{photo courtesy of here}

So that is why this week's Fancy Free Giveaway is sooo spectacular.  If you are unfortunate enough to lay claim to the same kind of luck I have, then this is the week for you.  There is a chance for 3 people to win.  THREE.  Chances are high my friends!  Please click HERE.  It ends tomorrow night...

So this is me wishing you luck.  Don't give up.  And in the spirit of Non-Giving-Up, I have tried to change my luck and entered here.  You can too, unless you are one of those *#@&%$* blasted souls who win Everything They Enter For!  Then you are not allowed.  Give the rest of us a chance!

There.  It's off my chest.  I feel so much better.  Whew- this blogging thing can be very cleansing...

{ fancy - FREE friday GRAND FINALE }

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Grand Finale!

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If I had fireworks {sadly, they're illegal here}, I would be setting them off Right Now.

You'll just have to settle for this:

It is the LAST of our Summer Giveaways!  

And 3, yes THREE of you can win a prize!!!! 

Here they are:

So wipe the drool from the corner of your lips and head on over to Mean Mommy University to get all the juicy details...

Enjoy the rest of your Summer Vacation and

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Good Luck!

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{ fancy - FREE friday! }

Okay- so I am INSANELY under the weather, so in between puking sessions, I type the winner of last weeks amazing Twilight necklace!

The lucky number from Random.org is:

Congrats Chrissy!  Please email me at jordanriverblossom@yahoo.com to claim your prize and to receive the html codes for one of our lovely Mean Mommy Awards of your choosing!  And now, I must return to the bed of comfiness.  Remember to check here to see this weeks obnoxiously adorable giveaway at MMU!

{ fancy - FREE friday! }

Is your ability to multi-task dwindling?  I know mine is.  Good thing it's Friday.  And not just ANY Friday...it's:

As a mom {and woman}, I feel it is a requirement to be able to multi task.  I have had no problems with this during the course of my life until recently.  I fear my children have taken my brain cells.  They sucked them out while still in the womb.  So I am almost to the point of only being able to do one thing at a time.  Which means, I am Slowly Turning into a MAN.  

*sigh*

But I have put being a mommy aside to announce this weeks giveaway!  

{'Cuz Heaven knows I can't do both at the same time}

A star light, 

Star bright, 

Awesome necklace that says

Twilight!

This weeks giveaway is generously donated by:

She makes fun, flirty and one of a kind jewelry.  Honestly, her earrings made me want to go out and pierce my ears.  I would do that for these beauties:

 

She has some adorable stuff.  AND go to her etsy shop because she is having a Buy One Get One Free Sale!!!!  Plus there's lots of clearance items that you can grab for a steal!  Check it out!

Now, here's how to enter.  Just leave a comment!  In the past we have had you all answer a question in the comments section, but maybe this has deterred some of you from entering!  So just leave a comment!  It can be as short as "Hi" or it can be as long as an autobiography of your life.  We would love to learn more about you, but don't let that hold you back from commenting!  If you're feeling REALLY creative- tell us the most funny thing that has happened to you this summer- leave it all out there!

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Good Luck!

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Contest ends next Thursday, the 23rd.  

And don't forget to head on over to MMU to see last week's Winner!

{And did you notice I uses a LOT of exclamation points in this post.  Sheesh!}

Again, MMA and MMU helping to keep your summer Pain Free.

Oh, and

Fancy

FREE

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{ fancy - FREE friday! }

Oh........!  It's the last day of the work week and I KNOW you are just as excited as I am!  Okay, maybe more excited because I am not eligible to win the AMAZING prize for this week.  But you, yes you dear faithful commenters have the chance to win an exquisite delight because it's...

Please click here if you can't contain yourself any longer.

NOW...

Last week's winner.

I was

so

p

r

o

u

d

.

Oh the faithful mommies who dare to venture out and submit themselves knowingly to pee and poop and the cleaning thereof.  Kudos to you all.  Your comments have reassured the fact that:

Yes.  They do.  And you knew that before embarking on the adventure that IS Potty Training.

And you will now be rewarded.

This winner has been brought to you by:

And the lucky winner is....

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CONGRATS MINDY!!!!

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You are lucky commenter #3! 

Here's part of her comment:

...we have attempted numerous times, however it always ends in Miss Alyse having an accident in her precious princess panties and then an absolute refusal to put them on again for WEEKS! We are talking crying, screaming, "I do not want to wear my panties" ripping them off of her body as she convulses on the floor and begins begging for a diaper type of refusal! Let's just say our potty treats are not proving to be enough incentive and I might want to buy some stock in 'Pull-Ups' since it looks like we may be supporting them for quite some time!... 

Email me at 

jordanriverblossom@yahoo.com

for info on how to receive an adorable pillowcase dress of your choice, and to receive the html codes for one of the Mean Mommy Bragging Rights buttons to place wherever you would like!

And again THANK YOU to everyone for all of your comments-

We LOVE Reading the funny and sweet things all y'all write!

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So I had to leave for a sec- heard running water.  Found my daughter drowned my ipod.  And pooped in her underwear.  Blogging is WAY to dangerous.  Must go now...

{ fancy - FREE friday! }

Class- Do you know what time it is?

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It's Fancy FREE Friday Time!

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Now let's all calm down.... 

I know it's thoroughly exciting, but let's try to exercise some restraint here.

Thank you.

Have you been feeling a little 

-------

tied up

-------

this summer?

Well MMA and MMU are here for you!

We have a wonderful giveaway that is WAY more exciting than 

loosing 

your

first

tooth

!

This week's giveaway is brought to you by:

Embroidery Impressions specializes in machine embroidery and sewing and does FABULOUS work, I might add.

They have:

Twilight apparel

Christmas stockings

Holiday ornaments

Bookmarks

Crib sheets

Pillow cases

AND...

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Pillowcase dresses!

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Yes!  Our giveaway is a Pillowcase Dress of YOUR choosing {up to $20} at her etsy store!

Are you squealing like a little piggie?  

Well, here's some more pics to bring out the farm animal in you:

*cute*

*adorable*

*perfect*

*I want one*

*right now*

So check out her etsy store and peruse the fantastic merchandise, drool, and then grab your coins and head over to the nearest wishing well and throw them in.

Here's your assignment class:

Leave us a comment about your 

most exciting potty training moment!

Don't have a 'moment'?  That's okay- borrow, steal, trade- do whatever it takes to get a 'moment'!  Just leave a comment- you don't wanna miss out on this one! We LOVE hearing from you!  Feel free to exaggerate if you want- I would have to.  Today is day 2 of potty training my second, and the only thing I can come up with is we went through 9 panties yesterday, and 

I Am Grateful For Tile!

Poor thing has been 'confined' to the tiles areas of our home {which is almost everywhere, so it's not as bad as it sounds}.

But Camryn.... now Camryn has stories. Like when her daughter planted a log on the table.  'Cuz, you know, it's WAY easier to climb up the chair, then up the table than to run down the hall to the bathroom.  {BTW- Check out MMU to see last week's winner}

Although, I may have a story like that soon- my trainee hasn't pooped for 24 hours, and I'm afraid I'm going to have a problem on my hands here soon.  I'm a little worried...

Can't wait to read your stories 

{when I'm not eyeing my daughter like a hawk}!

This giveaway ends July 9th.

Just another little somethin' to help you fall back in love with Summer and feel a little bit more...

Fancy Free.

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{ fancy - FREE friday! }

Is there a song about Friday?  If not, there should be.  And if there is, imagine me singing it

here.

So stomp your feet and clap your hands, it is time for: 

Check out

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Mean Mommy University

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to see this weeks FANTASTIC Giveaway!

Now for 

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Last Week's Winner!!!

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Oh the stories, the stories.  WOW.  You guys never fail to amaze me...

We asked, and you delivered.

This week's Fabulous Fancy --FREE Friday's winner was brought to you by:

RANDOM.ORG

 

And the lucky winner of phenomenal hair bows is:

 

--------------Congrats Jill!

--------------

You're commenter #4 the winner of 2 awe-inspiring Hair bows of

Your Choice!!!!

We'll wait while you do a little Victory Dance.

Okay, that's good.

Here's what Jill wrote:

okay as the mom of 8 kids we come across gross every week. it's a given and i think i'm becoming immune to it by now. does anyone else have a mysterious ghost who wipes boogies on the wall? anyway, gross happened this week in the form of a bloody mutalated, yet still twitching lizard that the cat brought in and my 4 yr. old went balistic until i 'saved' the gasping blob! because of the hysterics of said 4 yr. old i whimpered as i picked the thing up and put it outside on a pile of rocks, then spent 15 min. washing my hands - those things stink like nothing you ever want to smell! for the first time in quite a while i was completely grossed out!

Contact me at jordanriverblossom@yahoo.com!

And you not ONLY win the hair bows, but you have also won EXCLUSIVE 

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Mean Mommy Bragging Rights.

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Yes.  You may let everyone know you are a 'Mean Mommy' by parading one of the lovelies posted on the right.

Another victory dance?  Go ahead.

And to the rest- I wish I had some sort of bleach product that I could mail your way.  There was some super nasty business going on in the comments section, like

catching poop

scooping poop out of panties

touching older people's poop

using a spoon to help someone poop

touching boogers on an armrest

getting boogers smeared on your face

and catching vomit.

All Super Lovely.

Thank you for sharing.  I think.

Do you now realize why I use random.org?  There's no way in Haiti's that I could pick 

just ONE. 

And remember to keep entering!  If not for the prizes, than just to make us laugh by sharing your 

Awesome Comments!

BTW- copy and paste the award at the bottom of my previous post and place it where ever!

Enjoy the Weekend!

{ fancy - FREE friday! }

Has your summer vacation left you feeling a little....

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"worn-down"?

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Well, buck up little camper!  Because:

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Week #3 of:

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Oh, yes.  

Feel free to do a little dance in your chair.  

Go on.  

No one's 

watching.

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This week's giveaway has been 

GENEROUSLY 

donated by:

Jessica, the Mooregirly mom, makes amazing hair bows.  

What kind of bows?

ANY kind- you name it!

Big layered bows, tiny baby bows, or basic color bows. 

She's been making bows for 5 years now, and hand sews every one. No wires or chemicals are used, making them ultra safe for little ones. You can throw them in the wash and even dry them and they come out fine.  

Custom orders?  Get this: She can make a bow to match absolutely anything. Send a picture of any outfit and she'll send you a bow that will be a perfect match.

This giveaway will be for a SET of boutique Custom Bows {valued between $15-$20}. This will be two bows either the same kind {i.e. for pigtails} or two different kinds. 

Now, I must give her some props- 

This woman had her second spinal surgery last Friday and is STILL doing this for us!  Isn't she amazing?  Peruse her etsy store here, 'cuz there's more than just bows- and her prices are lower than most because she wants other women to be able to doll up their little girls and still live frugally.  

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Isn't that Too Perfect?

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{While you're there, drop Jessica a line and let her know what kind of bows you would like to see 'moore' of!}

Now for the fun part.  

To win said 

exquisite delights, 

you must leave us a comment.  And we want to know:

As a mom, what is the grossest thing you have touched with your bare hands?

{And remember- keep it G rated- this is a family show}

Here's my example:  

While I was waiting in the doctors office, my son {who was itty bitty at the time} decided to throw up, and I quickly cupped my hands and caught it, so there wouldn't be a mess everywhere.  Don't ask why I did it.  Mother's instinct I guess.

Or there was the time I was changing the same little boy's diaper, and I had to cover his manhood with my hand so I wouldn't receive the shower of shame...

Now I've got you thinking- hurry and leave a comment- this giveaway ends next Thursday {the 25th}!

Just another reward for the 'grossness' we go through being moms and to help keep your summer

Fancy

Free

!

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{ Fancy - Free Friday! }

It's the weekend again!  

Time for another giveaway!  It's Camryn's week for posting the free awesomeness- so check out this weeks fabulous prize at Mean Mommy University by clicking here.

But now it's time for 

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Last Week's Winner!!!

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I was ecstatic when I read all of the Insanely, Onoxiously Awesome comments about the worst thing that you cleaned out of the fridge!  I laughed and cringed all at the same time.  The descriptions you gave painted a horrific picture in my mind- stories that reminded me of my sweet hubby, who cleaned out my parents fridge in their basement.  My mother LOVES to garden {and we love to partake of these divine morsels of wonder}, but she forgot that she put some zucchini {I THINK} in her fridge.  And forgot.  The unknown veggie had completely liquified and was seeping through the seal on the door.  It was all over the floor and smelled like...like........... oh heck.  I can't even describe it.  Just PURE nastiness.  I laugh when I think about it- I think he's still scarred.  He doesn't find it that funny.  And sadly, that makes me laugh 

HARDER.  

*sigh*

Good times, good times.

So in all fairness, I went to Random.org {because I just couldn't pick my favorite}, and I remember first reading this story- it had me STUNNED, for I never thought I would hear of this....

Two Words:

P i g

F e e t

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Congrats Pan x 8!!!!!!!

-----------------------

You're commenter #9!

Here's what she wrote:

I'm not sure what my Mother made a few weeks before I got to this in the fridge but after deciding to clean out my fridge because I couldn't find the "smelly" culprit... I found a tupperware of pigs feet that she'd made and "conveniently forgot" about with moldy gross-like fuzz camping out on a pukish color. It was so foul when I opened it, I think we had to "air" out the whole fridge and house or a week!

Please email me at jordanriverblossom@yahoo.com with your address so I can mail your fantastic winnings to you, and also so I can email you the "Mean Mommy Bragging Rights" button html codes to place on you blog if you like {I'll email both so you can choose}!

And to the rest, MAN OH MAN!!!!  I wish I could award something for ALL of you- for the terror you experienced.  Something to perhaps ease the trauma of what you went through....

But all I can come up with is check out MMU and enter for the next prize!  I wish I could enter- I'm Super Freakin' Jealous.

Thanks to all who participated and remember, you still have every Friday for the rest of the Summer to win something!

*squeal!* 

{ Have You Heard?! }

Have you heard the amazingly awesomely abundantly-good latest gossip?

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If you haven't, then here it is: 

{in visual format}

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{start imagining drumroll *here*}

HORAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

That's right.  The summer is here.  Where I live, summer was here about 4 months ago. 

Be jealous.  Be jealous that 14/31 days in may were OVER 100 degrees.

  

To countdown our days 'till Peace and Tranquility {and unsmoltering temperatures} return when Summer Break is over, Camryn and I will be doing a  

Giveaway

Every

Friday

!

{you may squeal with delight now}

So what is TODAY'S 

-------------------------------------

Fancy--FREE Friday's Freebie?

-------------------------------------

{pleeaasse try and say that 5x's fast}

arbonne's secret crush color pallete:

| mirror |

| mattifying powder |

| 3 in 1 color|

| 2 lip gloss colors |

| value: $27 |

I LOVE this stuff- it's perfect to slip into your purse and pull out for touch-ups at the pool, or a hot date with hubbyness, etc.

AND

arbonne's intelligence herbal foot cream and hand cream lotion:

| travel size- 1.8 oz each |

| value: $10 |

This lotion is awesome stuff guys.  Since I live in the desert, I have tried TONS of lotions.  This is the real deal.

Let me tell you a little about this company's products:

1 | they are all botanically based: plants and herbs + science and technology

2 | hypoallergenic: dermatologist tested {never on animals}, and almost all products are made without dyes or chemical fragrances

3 | formulated without animal products or by-products 

and here's my favorite

4 | formulated without mineral oil: mineral oil is an occlusive, cheap "filler" oil that your skin can't absorb.  Massage therapists use this oil to keep the skin "lubricated" while they work, because it does just that.  Doesn't sink in.  Now go check your lotion bottles and look at the ingredients...

{I am on the last of my bottles of fake lotion- I used them as shaving gel since I couldn't bear to throw them away.  They smelled too pretty.  But after using Arbonne's lotion, I couldn't go back.} 

M

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G

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Are you ready for this?  This is how you enter to win these 

Fabulous Fancy--FREE Friday Treasures:

Leave a comment telling me about the WORST thing you have cleaned out of your {or someone else's} fridge.  The more descriptive- the better...

{I wiped out my fridge yesterday to get ready for groceries tomorrow, so this subject is on the brain.}  

Next Friday, when it's Camryn's turn to host Fancy--FREE Friday, she will announce the winner {after we take forever deciding who wrote the 'grossest' comment- although we may end up just 'drawing' a name}

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Deadline: Next Thursday Night!

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Good luck!  I'm excited to read all the entries! {you could even email photos- jordanriverblossom@yahoo.com} Don't have a gross story?  Borrow someone else's... we should be rewarded for all the 'grossness' that we go through just being moms.  And we should all get something to help us be a little more Fancy--Free and enjoy...

the

Dog

Days

of

Summer

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