{ somewhat simple // camping checklist }

Remember when I posted my camping checklist that saved my life?  Well, it's over at Somewhat Simple today! *Heel kick*  Head on over there to check it out...

Have a fabulous weekend!! --xoxo

{ planning a camping trip }

At the present moment, I have a girl-crush on Mother Nature.  Usually by this time, I am cursing her and the heat she brings for summer.  But not this year.  She has spoiled us down here in the valley of the sun. 

But that doesn't mean one doesn't need to plan a retreat to the mountains for a little R&R.  I'm so excited!  I'm a camping girl.  I love camp fires, nature walks, and being away from all the hubbub of life.  I love it all...

Except for the planning/packing part.  I'm ALWAYS forgetting something, or not planning completely.  So I decided that for this trip I would make up a checklist.  And of course I'll share it with you! :) 

{Click on the image and save it to your computer}

Here's a part of what mine will look like when filled {except with much worse handwriting}:

And now I have plenty of time to fill it in as I think of stuff, and I'm not trying to rack my brain AS we're packing up the truck.  This is going to be HUGE for me.

So what things do you take on your camping trips that most people forget?  Any tips or tricks?  I'd love to hear them! --xoxo

{ clarifying 'the dancer' }

{warning: serious content ahead}

Remember this post about our brief stay at Vegas?

I just received a comment about it that pulled at my gut a little bit. The commenter wrote:

Bwahaha!!! You took your family to the Vegas Strip and then blame the HOTEL for exposing your kids to scum??!?wow, that's funny. Funny in a very sad sort of way.

Now I don't know if she was just teasing a little, or being completely serious, {where's that darn sarcasm font when you need it} but it kinda broke my heart. It confirmed the guilt I already felt for taking the loves of my life there, but it also made me realize that I must be a horrible writer, because the point of the story was not that visible.

{No, this is not a "I need sympathy" post whatsoever. Just the real, raw me clarifying.}

But I actually thanked this commenter for her feedback. 'Cuz who knows how many people out there were/are thinking the exact same thing.

And for that I apologize.

I keep thinking that everyone 'knows' me. I keep thinking that everyone would automatically know that I would never take my kids anywhere without doing research first. I keep thinking that everyone knows that I am the most trusting person, and will take the advice of friends and family who have 'been there and done that'.

So to those of you who don't know me personally, here's the background of our Vegas story.

I asked around. I did. I got the advice of people I knew who had taken their families to Vegas. Granted they hadn't been there in awhile, but I got the tips and tricks. We should stay at either this or this hotel, do this and that, not this or that- you know, that kind of advice. When we came back and told those people, they were mortified. They felt horrible, because they had given us bad info.

So it is to you, dear readers who have either had a safe experience, or have heard of someone that had and were contemplating a short hotel stay one night, that I wrote that post for. Vegas has changed. We paid to learn that, and I wanted to pass on that nugget of information, so no one else makes the same mistake, or gives advice to others about their safe time.

It is not cheap anymore. They do not cater to families anymore. No matter what anyone tells you. I shouldn't have cared that my husband hadn't slept for 25 hours and needed to stop at a hotel {he doesn't like to sleep when I drive- weird}. Next time we will drive right on past and hit the next available town.

That's big.

Because Mr. Smith got robbed at gunpoint once in a small town on the outskirts of Vegas a couple years ago while filling up at a gas station.

Which is why we thought a hotel on the actual strip with lots of people would be a little safer.

'Cuz I would rather teach my little girl that pole dancing is bad, than to visit her grave...

So go hug those kids tight, and don't ever take them near Vegas.

xoxo

jordan

ps- I also found out this morning that my friend's brother past away last weekend {talk about a tearful morning}. An account has been set up at the Bank of American Fork on the behalf of Aaron Garrett. He leaves behind a 4 year old son, and all donations {that can be made at any branch} will go towards funeral costs and the financial support of his son. To any of you who are able to help, thank you.

{ the dancer }

Remember when Las Vegas' advertising strategy was to make it 'Fun for the whole Family'?

News Flash.

So not the case anymore.

Vegas is Dirty.

And expensive.

At least it was when we visited the Excalibur Hotel for 10 hours too long...

We were on our way to Utah, and Mr. Smith decided it would be super awesome fun to stay the night in Vegas. So we pulled up to the hotel, and walked into the nearest entrance, only to find that the check in desk was smack dab in the middle of this massive hotel. So we walk past the shiny 'games', bright lights, smoking bystanders, bars and restaurants to get to said check in desk.

And there I saw it.

Right in the middle of the 'Lobby' was a lady.

On a Stage.

Near a Pole.

Wearing Something one would find on page 34 of a Victoria Secrets magazine.

In the middle of the 'Lobby'.

Right there.

In plain sight.

With. a. Pole.

I used my body and luggage as a barrier for my son, and saw my hubby {who had Em on his shoulders} trying to turn his body away and start to do a little jog past the bystanders {a couple of under-fourteen-boys included}.

I have never been so infuriated.

{Until we checked into the room. Nasty business people, I will not tell you the HORRIBLE condition this room was in, and the perm-gone-bad smell that saturated the air, or the number of broken/chipped items, or the number of lights that didn't work, or the long black hair that I found, or the greasy film that covered all door knobs and light switches. No I will not tell you about that.}

The point of my story is what happened while standing in the check out line the next morning.

My daughter came up to me with the most delighted look on her face:

"Mommy! Go watch the dancer?! How 'bout that?!"

Crap. Despite my hubby's best efforts, she had seen Panty Pole Girl the night before.

{Oh, I think it's hilarious now, just not at that moment}

Shame on you Excalibur. Shame on you for exposing my little girl who LOVES dancing to that kind of crap. Now I have to teach a three year old that some dancing is NOT okay. Like she's gonna understand.

Guess there will be no more dancing around the house, nearly naked, allowed under this roof...

{Mr. Smith will be so disappointed...}

LOL! I soooooo kid....

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PLEASE don't forget about the giveaway that ends next week! Yes! You still have time to enter! Don't be like me and think "I never win so I'm not going to bother entering", just try and see!

And now I must go and find a top to go with my daughter's tutu...

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Have an Awesome Weekend!

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xoxo

jordan

ps - my deepest apologies if any of this doesn't make sense, just know that prescription strength pain relievers are pumping through my body at the moment.

Things get kinda crazy when that happens...

***Post Note:***

Before judging me for taking my kids to Sin City, please read my clarification on this post here.

We were told that Vegas was cheap and totally fine if we did certain things and avoided others.

This post was to serve as a warning for those who have heard the same thing and wanted to try it out. My advice? Don't.

{ camryn's corner + vacation recap }

Can I just tell you how nice it was to get out of the heat???

We had a glorious vacation, although we didn't get everything done on 'the list' that we had hoped to accomplish.

Sorry Camryn. Maybe next time we can do a lemonade stand. ; )

Our vacation flew by. I think perhaps two weeks would have been better...

In the small/short/quick week we were in Utah, we filled everyday with activities and visits. Here's a quick visual recap of some of the festivities. All taken with my phone.

Because I forgot the camera at home. Yep I did.

Eating out is very common while on vacation.

Each of our eat-out meals were accompanied by this delicacy:

We drove up Provo canyon and marveled at the beauty:

And the kids played while we tin-foiled our dinners under the canyon canopy of trees:

We watched a bunch of these take off:

And dug up and built dinosaurs and their bones:

All while enjoying the company of 976 children running around and having

the time of their lives:

There was also a family bbq, where Cam and I laughed till we almost peed. {I seriously love that gal} To see a pic of me { with really white teeth ;) } head on over to mmu for visual proof of our encounter. While you're over there, read Camryn's post about her summer and check out the wicked awesome picture of her shooting a gun. She's one hot momma...

*sniff*

I miss her already...

It was so great to spend time with family, and both Mr. Smith and I are having a hard time adjusting to reality. {Don't you even DARE ask how much weight was gained over the course of said vacation} But I hope you all had a great Fourth of July holiday!

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Have a great week!

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xoxo

jordan

ps- stay tuned for an awesome giveaway . . .

and a story involving my daughter and a . . .

"dancer".

{ heading out }

My bags are packed and we're ready to go...

We're headed to UT for the week, and I'm excited to be there.

Not so much excited to drive there.

I've scrubbed my house.

'Cuz I want a clean house to come home to.

All articles of clothing have been washed.

So I can have the luxury of as many clothing options as my closet allows.

I am now tired.

But have managed to slip in a little project amidst the major project of

getting ready for a week long trip.

Remember this beauty?

She has now been transformed.

Not how I originally planned.

But money and time were non existent, so I relied solely on the resources I had.

Enter new and improved:

Just ignore the terrible lighting - it's late.

No sun to help me out in that department.

And I took it real quick with my phone...

And now dear hearts,

I'm off to bed.

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Here's hoping you all have a wonderful and safe Fourth of July weekend!

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xoxo

jordan

ps - I have a very exciting giveaway planned! I'll tell you all about it when I get back!

; )

{ ode to spring break }

T

here's just something about school breaks that I love. Here's why:

Staying in jammies all day is perfectly acceptable.

Not showering for 2 days is perfectly acceptable.

Eating nothing but junk food is perfectly acceptable.

I get to choose if I want to make a big breakfast or if we'll just have cereal- not the clock.

Not realizing that you have been playing the wii for 2 straight hours is totally acceptable.

Going outside because you want to, not because you have to is divine.

Blog stalking is so much more fun when you have a solid 4 hours to do whatever you want.

But can't cuz the guilt sets in and the kids need some brain stimulation...

.

.

.

.

... So we went to the fire station!

{Perks of having an uncle who's a firefighter.}

I drove a fire truck peeps.

I was scared.

But people lived.

I didn't kill any cones.

No one wet their pants.

Especially me.

Now for some visuals:

Proof of gender differences:

While JD was completely fascinated with the gears and gadgets and how things worked...

...Em was busy with her photo shoot.

And the mannequin? Well, he was busy too...

...and I was taking notes.

Soot? Check.

Cement? Check.

Birthday suit? Ummm...

*

It was a fabulous day. Kids had fun. My cough got worse. {You know it's bad when you can feel the build-up in your lungs.} But it was worth it.

Oh the things we do for our kids...

Now back to playing hostess- my sis comes into town tonight which brings the people count to 10! All in my 1300 sq ft town home! Sa-weet!

;)

xoxo

jordan

{ mr. smith is a terrible liar, and other lessons learned }

Before I begin, I would like to post an open letter:

Dear Burger King employee,

I do not doubt your abilities to multi-task,

And believe that you are a master of doing two things at once,

But PLEASE stop texting while you are taking my order.

Do I come across as not that important?

Is it because I ordered off the Value Menu?

I don't care if they only pay you minimum wage.

Put the phone down.

Unless a family member is DYING.

Many thanks.

Whew! Glad to get that off my chest.

I learned a few lessons last week, while vacationing in the Lone Star State, and I thought I would share with all y'all. The first begins with a story:

Mr. Smith and I are finishing up a diet. Now while I fully believe that cheating every now and then is totally acceptable, we both still have a few more pounds to shed {ok- me like 4 and him like 30. Scout's honor}. So trying to change our lifestyle habits is kinda important. Like parking further away from a store entrance, taking stairs, etc.

So my hubby and his brother {who will from now on be known as Doc} decide that golfing would be a pleasurable activity that two brothers, who haven't seen each other in a year, would highly enjoy. The wives agreed that they could go, but I had one stipulation. They could not rent a golf cart- for Mr. Smith's sake. They happily agreed and went merrily on their way.

A few hours later, my SIL {who will from now on be know as Sassy Momma} called to see what their ETA would be.

No answer.

She calls again.

Still nothing.

I call Mr. Smith's cell.

No answer.

I call again:

Hubby: Hello?

Me: Hey! Why aren't you guys answering your phones?

Hubby: {laughs} Sorry! We had left our phones in the cart.

Me: What?! You got a cart?! You PROMISED me you wouldn't get a cart!!!

Hubby: What do you mean? We didn't get a cart.

Me: You JUST said that you left your phones in the C A R T .

{Dead Silence}

Hubby: Crap. I did, didn't I.

Now please don't think I'm a nagging wife, it's just that Mr. Smith asked me to help him loose the weight. So I'm being harsh on him. Even though I just brought him home some cake. BUT he didn't eat it, so see? My nagging help is paying off!

Things I learned over the vacation week:

1 | I hate 16 hour drives.

2 | There should be no such thing as rest stops that have no restrooms. They call them picnic areas. {Why would someone want to picnic in the middle of nowhere? Who would drive to the middle of nowhere to have a picnic while some guys, sitting in their diesel trucks, are watching you?}

3 | Every state should have a diesel truck speed limit and a regular vehicle speed limit. Genius.

4 | The freeway lanes in San Antonio are actually smaller than normal. It's wicked scary.

5 | I don't hate humidity as much as I thought I did. At least in March.

6 | My children need to be closer to their cousins.

7 | I need to be closer to Sassy Momma.

8 | Mr. Smith needs to be closer to Doc.

9 | This only once a year visiting them crap needs to stop.

10 | I wish I lived next door.

11 | I got teary eyed when we left.

12 | I hate that I have stupid mommy emotions.

13 | Even if I have completely lost my voice, I will do whatever it takes to keep on talking with Sassy Momma.

14 | I hate computer games.

15 | Two o'clock in the morning is a perfectly reasonable time to go to bed.

16 | I want to visit again.

17 | It's totally worth the 16 hour drive.

AND...

18 | Someone needs to inform Nissan that it's not cool to build their 2008 Frontiers without cruise control. Seriously. It's not even the base model. I didn't realize cruise control was an upgrade. I thought it was standard nowadays.

We arrived home safe and sound, ticket free and bummed that it was over so quick. And don't tell Mr. Smith that I told you, but he had a really hard time the next morning. We're talking emotional break-down hard time. It's hard when one of your best friends lives so far away. And ya know what? The tears only made me love him more....

{So Sassy Momma and Doc: hurry up and finish school so we can live closer! My kids keep asking/whining when they are going to play with the princess and the little squirt. Between them and hubby's breakdowns I don't know how much longer I can deal with all these emotions from everyone!}

xoxo

jordan

ps. It feels weird that I don't have any pics to go with this post-like it's incomplete or something. Anyone else like that?

{ traveling with kids. to the desert. }

{assignment 7 of school days seminar- subject: travel studies}

Dear Family-Who-Wants-To-Visit-HOTness,

Welcome to the lovely land of Lava Rock and Cacti. Where flamingos and howling turquoise coyotes plague the yards of those over the age of 55. Where jagged southwestern designs are carved right into the walls of the freeways. Where vehicles packed with Seniors going 45 mph cut right in front of you. In the fast lane. Thank you, Grandpa.

Yes, this is the Grand Canyon State. The Valley of the Sun. The deathly really warm state of Arizona. The state in which I now call 'home'. But also the state in which I took my very first breath . . . of . . . life.

{Pause for dramatic effect.}

Did Cowboys and Indians race across the forefront of your mind when I mentioned AZ? {I haven't broken down and bought me the hat or boots yet- they make those cute now, right?} If the Old West is your thing, then you need to take the kids to Tombstone, "The Town Too Tough to Die". Go catch a reenactment of an old western gunfight, shake hands with Wyatt Earp himself and rub shoulders with Doc Holliday at the O.K. Corral.

But, if hubcap sized belt buckles and ten gallon hats aren't your cup o' tea, then grab a cheap hotel and visit the Scottsdale Six Drive-in theater.

Oh, yes. We still have the classic drive-in. Bring your boom box {yes, I just called it that}, some treats {unless you want to buy the burgers, fries, nachos, pizza, candy or drinks offered there}, chairs, blankets, pillows and games for the kids to play while waiting for your featured presentation to start. The Very Best Part? Adults are $4 and kids are One Dollar. Uno. Un. Satu. Ein. ONE. And it's for TWO movies. Dos. Zwei. . . We take our truck and throw a futon mattress in the back along with 9,673,482 blankets and pillows. It's the bomb. The Cheap Bomb.

Now if you've saved up for 3 years to take this trip, then I suggest you give Barro's Pizza a try. Fantastico! But if you've only saved up for 3 months and are traveling with your n-i-n-e children, then the local Little Caesar's 5-buck pizza is an excellent choice. And there's one a few blocks away from the drive-in.

Too perfect for words.

Then grab yourself a Bahama Buck's gourmet shaved ice.

You'll thank me later.

Have you ever had Thanksgiving Dinner at a park? Yeah, it's pretty awesome- makes for a spectacular Turkey Bowl game. And no, our parks are not made of spray-painted gravel and sagebrush. There is grass here.

In plenty of parks.

And golf courses.

Golfing here is expensive though. And why wouldn't it be? Tiger Woods likes to golf here. But I don't. Did you know that the word golf is actually an acronym for Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden? Soooo, I don't golf for fear of the Scottish and their fury reigning down upon me.

When it's not 1,573,642° outside, there are lovely trails and man made lakes to visit.

And plenty {as in like, a LOT} of Walmarts around to buy snacks and liquid hydration for such outdoor adventures. If you find yourself driving along and miss the turnoff to Walmart, do not worry, you will see another one in about 10 minutes.

I recommend taking the long, scenic way to get to places. You never know what kind of small shop or perfect photo backdrop you will encounter.

{check out more of Donald's a-may-zing photos}

Don't forget to stop by here. A good place to just sit and . . . think. {If the kids allow it.} And if you have time, check out Lake Havasu's London Bridge. The First.

And now, dear traveler, who brings along her family to create a love and deep family bond-ing-ship-ness: I have one little nugget of advice. Please don't speed, or you will be awarded one of these:

{Yes, it's a blurry picture. Yes, I still blacked out my sweetheart's info.}

And when it's raining outside, don't even think about driving. There's a little thing we like to call the Stupid Motorist Law. True Story. Flash floods happen pretty darn often and if you get stuck and need rescuing, whoooo baby. It'll be one hefty fine. A fine that can sing to the tune of $2,000.

I also found this website helpful for planning those I've-only-been-saving-for-3-months Vacations to the desert. And yes, your children will probably call you the Meanest Mommy in the World when you tell them you're going to Arizona for your family vacation instead of Disneyland. But once they get here, I think they'll change that tune pretty quickly. . . as long as you don't forget the swimsuits and sunscreen. . .