{ i'm (not so much) lovin' it}

I must ask, how many of you have purchased a kid's meal from any fast-food establishment?
(Please raise your hand)

Now, how many of you have kept the toy that came with said kid meal?
(If you haven't, please put your hand down. If you have, please keep it up)

Out of those who are left, how many own MULTIPLE toys?

It is to those of you who are left that I am writing to.
(Especially if you can see of those toys Right Now from where you are sitting)

Here's my beef. These kid's meals usually have 4 to 8 different toys in their "themes", right? So why is it that EVERY time we go, we get THE EXACT SAME FREAKIN' TOY??!!! (Apparently our local McDonalds only stocked Country Clay)It doesn't matter how we plan it.

Is it every week that they rotate? Is it every other day? I wish they would have a "TOY CALENDAR" that informs us "collectors" of the rotation system. I'm sick and tired of owning multiple Kung-Fu Panda's (and ONLY the Panda), the same orange and pink Polly Pocket, etc.

(I know it's a sales trick. To keep me coming back. I have bee sucked into their lies for quite some time now.)

And WHY is it that we always get the LAME-O toy out of the bunch????? At least if we were going to get multiples, let it be the COOL one! Once there was a not-to-be-names fast food chain that advertised a new theme with COOL toys! Yay! So we went, purchased our meals, and went home. A few days later we were out and about when we decided to stop and get lunch. Excited that even if we got the exact same toy, it would still be heralded in the Hall of Cool...

BUT OH, NO! They didn't even have that "theme" anymore and we got a cardboard something or other that was to go down in history as Lameness to the Maximus. A toy that was from, I swear, last year. How can you be out of COOL toys in say, oh, I don't know, 3 DAYS?!!

Soooooo, instead of keeping our collections, I have now decided to throw away the "multiple" and (to the horror of some) the "singles". I am tired of waking up in the night because a wee one of mine has had a bad dream, or needs liquid refreshment, only to step on a "multiple" of "single" and SCREAM out in pure agony because of the sensitivity of my feet. No, cursing's don't leave my mouth because I am too busy CRYING. It is a trait that I have been ashamed of in the past, but now that the rating level in our home has been set to G, it has been a blessing. So as I am sobbing, I look down only to see one of the MANY remarkably sharp edged kid's toy that I sooo Loath. And of course it's the oh-so-not-cool-one.Why do I not throw them away the minute I get them, you may ask. Let me tell you: It is because my children KNOW that a new-special-something is waiting for them in the bag, and YES I use it to my advantage. I threaten that I will not open said delight until they have eaten EVERY bite of their meal. It works. My children eat. Which means I HAVE to let them play with it. And it doesn't matter where it ranks on my "Cool Meter", it is cherished and loved with every fiber of their beings. (Although I must admit that once I intervened and trashed the "girl" toy because it was just too hideous to be seen in ANY light.)But if I am not compelled to throw away a toy BEFORE it is seen, that night, after they go to sleep, I grab these toys and hide, yes I said HIDE these toys in the trash. But it's not as simple as it may sound, There are VERY important steps to follow:

It has to be covered, but in the middle of the garbage bag and not on the edge, so that when I pull it out, the color of the toy is not seen through the whiteness of the bag. Believe me. It's not fun pulling out a toy from the depths of utter gross-ness because of the wailing's of a child, or cleaning up utter gross-ness because your child has done the diving himself and pulled out everything ABOVE to get to the toy BELOW.

I also recommend that if you still have a little one in diapers, that you shove the toy in a used one, but remember to hide the diaper under papers or something because the toy may still stick out a bit. And every bit of "color" in the trash will attract the curiosity of ANY child. Unless you are confident in your toy-hiding-in-dirt-diaper technique, this step is crucial. I would say that I am at a level 3. It's still gross to me, so I'm not that good at it yet. I have a sensitive gag reflex.

So now you know my System, Feel free to apply it in your own home. You may be rewarded with SANITY. Or at least a little taste of it.

(And it'll save your feet from some pain, too.)