somewhat simple // 2014 journal jar

We did this last year as a family, and LOVED it! Moments like my son taking 3rd place in the pinewood derby, my daughter's first piano recital, my son's first orchestra concert were recorded, but my favorite were the funny things my kids said. Like when my daughter called moles boobs (it was a really awkward conversation at first), or when she asked if clouds pooped snow, or when my son exited the bathroom in just a towel and said "Nothing to see here" when we made eye contact, etc. 

I'm hoping 2014 will be just as awesome. Is your jar ready? Get the label + journal card here. -xoxo

{ let's not call it procrastination }

Let's call it "Easy Going" or "Laid Back".

But let's not call it procrastination. 

Just trying to be politically correct here, people.

But let's not get into that right now.

We'll have plenty of time to do that later...

;)

In the meantime, go hug your kids,

tell your loved ones how much they mean to you,

read that book,

go on that trip.

You never know how much time you really have.

--xoxo

{ so, the kids are back in school }

Now what? Do I tackle all the 976 projects on my to-do list? Do I *shudder* deep clean? Or do I sit on my rear and blog? Oh, I really hate tough choices...

It's odd being home alone with just my 5 month old for company. It's odd making lunch for one. It's odd to have peaceful silence for a few hours a day. It's all odd, but incredibly refreshing. 

I admit:  I cried when my baby girl walked onto that kindergarten playground for the first time. I cried as I walked home knowing my little shadow, my mini-me, was not with me. I cried as I saw her ponies on the floor, waiting for her to come back and play {I also cried when I stepped on one of the accessories for said ponies, but that was for a whole different reason}. It was hard. Not just in the fact that I missed her, but the fact that she's growing up. I am NOT a fan of this, FYI. 

But I'm ok now. I have plans. Big plans. Ones that didn't include designing a piano rules list, making mini lemon meringue pies, or drawing on tiles to make wicked coasters, but nevertheless happened anyway. *sigh* No, big plans that include re-organizing the boy's room, redecorating my girl's room, coming up with better routines, better systems, etc. You know, big plans like that. I'm thinking I'll start tackling them today. Right after I clean up the pickle juice mess that my husband already "cleaned up". Yep. That's how we roll around here... {and can I get some wife points for not badgering him about not doing it right? And waiting until he went to work to redo it?} Does anyone else high-five themselves? 

Here's to a {hopefully} tear free week with lots of self-high-fives and things crossed off the to-do list! --xoxo 

{ a teeny thought on fighting }

Let's just assume, for the moment, that I am raising NON-perfect children.  Let's assume, just for argument's sake, that my children are sometimes naughty.  Now we all know I'm hypothetically speaking, but let's say my days {which we all know they are not} are filled with teasing, yelling, she touched me's, he hurt me's, they looked at me's, screaming, and loud noises of all kinds.  If this was the case, then I would have lost it, sat them down and had a very stern hour family meeting about how we need to respect each other, how groundings would begin that second, and that we need to be best friends.  

And then let's say I had them clean their rooms afterwards.  And it was full of that's not mine's, I didn't make that mess's, etc.

So then I would enforce a rule.  If there is fighting, it means that both parties will be in trouble, unless something can be worked out.  I.E. hugs and apologies.  If this truly were a problem, and my children truly were NOT perfect angels, then I would have a hard time getting them to comprehend that in a fight, one person is not thinking of others, and the other is not forgiving.  

And then I was reminded of the hypothetical argument I had with the Mr. on Sunday.

Crap.

Looks like I have a figuratively-speaking comprehension problem as well.... along with being slightly hypocritical.  I hate it when that happens.  Apparently a fight means both parties are wrong, and I hate being wrong.  So I've got a little work to do. ;)  

Here's to trying to make our homes a little better with less fighting and practicing more thinking/forgiving.  -xoxo

{ sending you a little note }

Soaking in every moment with this little guy - they grow WAY too fast.

-xoxo

{ safe and sound }

Our little angel finally arrived last week.  And we couldn't be more in love:

{ why i love my doctor's scale }

I had a doctor appointment last Friday.  It was scheduled at 11.  But being a new patient, filling out paperwork made it so I didn't see the doc until a little later than that. Okay, almost an hour later.

I only had toast for breakfast, and the lady in the next room was talking about BBQ sandwiches and smoothies.  I wanted to deck her.  Even though I don't speak stomach, my tummy was screaming profanities, I'm sure of it.  

I was then reminded that all this suffering would benefit me on the scale.  {A.k.a. that wicked piece of machinery that was taunting me down the hall.}

You see, I was sure I had gained 10 pounds in the past couple months.  I added a few more pounds to what my scale said, because doctor's scales always seem to add a good 3-5 pounds on your original weight.  So I thus calculated.

I took off my shoes.  I put down my bag.  I stepped gingerly onto the black mat that would betray me in a few seconds.  I didn't dare look.  

But I have absolutely no power over my curiosity. {It's a curse, really.}

That beautiful scale read only 5 pounds of total weight gain. Five.  I wanted to hug it, but refrained since people where watching.  I was so happy.

And no, now is not the time to remind me that my stomach was empty and starving.  I'm taking those only 5 pounds and running with them! ;)

What else did this appointment accomplish, other than boosting a girl's self-esteem? I now have a verified official reason to gain weight, and not because I love to eat food:

After years of trying, the Good Lord has finally blessed us with baby #3.  So even though I may cry because of the nausea, headaches and cramps, they are happy tears!  After having a miscarriage, I will gladly take all of these 'trials' if it means a healthy little person will be joining our family.  Which reminds me of a quote:

:: via ::

Hope you all have a blessed rest of the week! -xoxo

{ why you can't play yu-gi-oh at our house }

It's not that I'm against the Yu-gi-oh card game.  My son loves it.  And it gets his imagination working.    But the rules make no sense whatsoever.  So when it comes to this game at our house, we don't play by the rules.  We make them up.

The numbers on the cards mean nothing.

The icons on the cards mean nothing.

The special abilities listed on the cards mean nothing.

All that is required to play is a bunch of bull.  Straight up.  And the fact that you have watched the cartoon show at least once to know the lingo. {Yes, it only takes one episode to figure that out.}  Numbers are made up.  Special abilities, weapons and magic defenses are created on the spot.  Life/attack points only depend on what your opponent just said, meaning, you go bigger and better.  And you must be able to create your own sound effects.  Although, singing your own background music is optional.  {I award myself extra life points when I compose my own theme song while playing.  True story.}   

The names of the creatures/monsters on the cards are the only thing we go by.   

So you see, if you are a real Yu-gi-oh card player {or firmly believe that one must play every game by the exact rules}, you can't play with us.  We would drive you insane.

All others are welcome. 

Provided you bring a heaping of bull honkey to the table. --xoxo

{ mother's day recap }

I had a wonderful Mother's Day.  And Mother's Day Eve.

I firmly believe that on Mother's Days and Birthdays, one should be able to take the entire week {or at the very least, the entire weekend} to celebrate these holidays. 

Mr. Smith was so cute.  Even though he had already given me some flowers on Mother's Day Eve, he couldn't wait until Sunday for me to open my presents.  It KILLED him when I made him wait until that evening.  I love that man...

He took the kids out so I could have 'My Time' on Saturday.  That right there would have made this Mother's Day the best ever.  Don't ask why I spent it doing dishes and cleaning, but I did.  Love my family, but their idea of clean, and my idea of clean are completely different.  

Sunday was spent going to church in the morning {which was fabulous- the speakers where amazing}, finding out my daughter thinks I am either 16 or 36 {I pick 16} with really black hair {I'm going to set up an appointment with the optometrist}, then coming home and starting Mother's Day Lunch. 

With strawberries dipped in cream cheese {fondue style} as dessert, how could one go wrong??

And then I had the privilege of reading my son's booklet he made in school.  Here's a list of things he thinks about me:

:: my mom is a woman tall.

:: she probably weighs about me pounds. {I'm flattered he thinks I weigh as much as he does.  He earned extra computer time for this answer.}

:: my mom works at stof {aka: stuff, which is remarkably accurate.}

:: I think this is how much money my mom earns every day, $10.  {I suspect he was referring to how much a charge a piano lesson. Yeah, let's go with that one.}

:: for fun my mom likes to play a game.

:: the job at home that my mom hates doing the most is working. {again, this is remarkably accurate.}

:: the job she likes the best is working. {wait a minute...}

:: if my mom had a million dollars, she would buy a new backpack. {umm... who are we talking about?}

:: the best present I could give my mom would be a braslite. {aka: bracelet. And I would love anything he gives me.}

:: her favorite sport is swening {aka: sewing.  Did you not know sewing is a sport? Are you not familiar with the Olympic relay sewing race?? The competition is crazy-- looking for a few sponsors.}

:: her favorite color is green. {true story}

:: favorite pet is a puppy. {well, it's a close second.  I'll still give him the point.}

:: favorite food is pizza. {did this turn into a father's day booklet all of a sudden?}

:: favorite animal is a bollfin. {aka: dolphin. Darn those lowercase 'b's and 'd's.  And that sneaky 'ph' combo.}

:: favorite TV show is chanll 23. {now even though channel is spelled phonetically, this answer made me laugh so hard.  Because it's true.  Channel 23 is the Discovery Channel, which I am now publicly admitting, is one of my favorites.  I have a slight obsession with Mythbusters,  Man Woman Wild, Dirty Jobs, etc.}

:: favorite book to read to me is binotruck. {curse you, lowercase 'b's and 'd's!!}

:: favorite game to play with me is huggere hippose. {aka: hungry hippos and he cheats.}

:: favorite thing to do for fun is sports. {aka: sitting on my rear eating cinnamon bears.}

All-in-all, I'm pretty impressed with what my son came up with.  And his cute illustrations that accompanied {please note the amazing accuracy of the thinness of my thighs *wink*}:

Hope all you moms had a fantastic Mother's Day! --xoxo

{ is your smart phone endangering your kids? }

There's this feature on every smart phone that is quite handy.  It's called geotagging.  It's quite necessary, as one needs it for accessing the maps, for using any app that searches for things nearby {restaurants, theaters, gas stations, etc.}, or anything else that needs to know your exact location to better serve you.

But this amazing bit of technology has a dark side.

Yeah,  That dark.

Camryn sent me an email earlier and I'm so glad she did.  I had no idea that this was even possible.  You may have seen this already, but I thought it was worth the post if even if only to make one other reader aware.

How your smart phone may be putting the safety of your children at risk:

Did you know that geotagging is also equipped into your camera?  I didn't either.  Every time you take a picture, it records the exact place you took it at.  And when you put that picture on the interenet {blog, facebook, twitter, etc.} that location is still attached to your picture.

You may freak out now.  I sure did.  Watch this:

But this can all be avoided.  The website I Can Stalk You: raising awareness about inadvertent information sharing gives you step-by-step tutorials on how to change your settings so your pictures are no longer geotagged.  

So grab your smart phones, and change those settings!  {I was pleasantly relieved to see that mine was already turned off.  *whew!*}  And spread the word.  Let's keep our families safe. --xoxo

*image source*

{ new and improved little piggies }

The other night, my daughter wanted to play 5 Little Piggies. You know, the one where you pinch the toes? I went to start the "This little piggie..." process, and she wailed that SHE wanted to do it to me. So I let her. I think she may have forgot the words, because they were not what I remembered them being. Or maybe she thought the original was lame, so she decided to come up with her own version. Ladies and Gentlemen, here is Em's version of The 5 Little Piggies {with completely necessary and colorful illustrations by yours truly}:

This Little Piggie stayed home.

This Little Piggie went to her mother's.

This Little Piggie said, "Oh poop".

This Little Piggie said a naughty word and had to go to time-out.

And This Little Piggie said "WWWWWWEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

I enjoyed her version. Tons more fun. But, is this a reflection of what goes on in our home? Good gracious, I hope not. Um, no. It is not. My mother lives a whole state away.

And we never say naughty words in our home. *cough* *cough*

And why would my amazingly behaved children EVER throw flour around?

Nope. Never happens. It must be someone else's family she was referring to.

;)

Hope you and your piggies have a great weekend! --xoxo

{ happy valentine's }

I woke up this morning to two of the most beautiful things in the world: Homemade Valentine's from my two darlings. Just for me. Configured and built all on their own.

I guess they picked up on how much I loved them, because a little while later, a whole family of hearts was born, and I found them adorning the front of our tv.

Hope you all had a heart-filled Valentine's Day! --xoxo

{ simplifying }

"Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity! I say let your affairs be as two or three, and not a half hundred or a thousand."

| Henry David Thoreau |

I'm not really that old. At least that's what I'm telling myself. My brain seems to think otherwise.

Each year, I find it harder and harder to remember things. Perhaps it's the surplus of responsibilities that seem to pile upon me as my Little Family grows up. Perhaps it's the lack of daily intellectual conversations {talking to myself doesn't count either- just makes me look even more crazy and brainless}.

Whatever the reason(s) may be, the fact still remains: I have the memory of an Atlantic Cod.

Which is why it was no surprise that I missed the Birthday Party bandwagon for my son this year. I kept telling myself I had plenty of time to plan one. Plenty of time.

His birthday is Today. My Little Boy is turned eight. And I almost failed miserably as an awesome mother.

But who says he has to know that?

I was reading an article at the beginning of the week {as I was frantically trying to decide what to do in regards to keeping my son from becoming aware of how Super Lame his mom was}, and it struck a chord. A chord of the purest and most inspired nature that the choirs of angels held a moment of silence as they listened to the immaculacy of the moment.

In the Wallet Pop article, 9 Ways We Waste Money, Vicky Passmore writes about the biggest money wasters of 2010. As I read through it, I was nodding my head in agreement but stopped abruptly at number 8. Children's Birthday Parties.

"We too mourn the loss of the home birthday party-the one with a homemade cake, some backyard games and no flashy goodie bags. Flash forward to the present, when a two-hour party for 10 kids at the local "bounce house" will cost you $200 (before cake and parting-gifts), and you know it's time to put on the brakes. We say: Go old school. This is especially true with the under-8-set, who enjoy pretty much anything that involves sugar and running around with their pals."

That last sentence opened my eyes to a beautifully immaculate plan. I don't need to spend any money. Which by the way, my wallet greatly approves of. I sent out an email to some of the moms in the area and told them about a Birthday Playdate {not party} at the park on Friday {yesterday}. No presents allowed, no decorations {I did decorate the house with streamers and balloons- I'm not THAT cheap *wink*}, just a birthday cake from Basha's {free with coupon!}, some lemon water and a huge playground to run around on.

And you know what?

It was a HUGE success! I didn't need to rent a clown, or an inflatable bounce house thingy, or buy a bunch of themed decor and goodies, not that I don't LOVE or adore a good themed party, but we forget that children are simple. They are amused by simple things, they beam from head to toe with a simple praise, they overcome fears with a simple bedtime story and song, and they give out simple, flawless, perfect love.

Love that doesn't require a Chuck-E-Cheese-esque birthday party to be given.

-----------------------------------------------

Here's to keeping our lives simple and weeding out the unnecessary 'Stuff'

-----------------------------------------------

xoxo

jordan

Ps- This post was about just a friend celebration on the day before his birthday. My son did open presents from family today, had a massive birthday breakfast, and we are headed to the drive-in tonight as a family- pizza and ice-cream included. Just incase some where concerned... ;)

{ a little thought }

The other night my daughter, Em, woke up at 2am and crawled onto the couch by our bed. She then proceeded to cry because she wanted her stuffed horse.

Having just fallen asleep at 1am due to not feeling good, I barked and told her if she wanted it, she should grab it herself. Otherwise, she needed to go.to.sleep.

As tears flowed down her cheek, she started down the dark stairs, quietly sobbing "I'm so scared".

Gosh near broke my heart.

I followed her and turned on the light, waiting at the top of the stairs for her to return with her favorite bedtime buddy. As I was waiting for her, I thought to myself, if a friend of mine was staying the night, and asked me to grab her something during the hours of the dead, I think I would have. And I would have done it cheerfully.

And then my heart gosh near broke, again.

Why would I be nice to someone who I don't see everyday, yet get mad and frustrated with the ones in my life that I love the ABSOLUTE MOST.

You bet I snuggled her close that night.

And then, by amazing, sheer coincidence, my mom sent me this story the next day:

- - - - - - -

FAMILY

- - - - - - -

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,

'Oh excuse me please' was my reply.

He said, 'Please excuse me too;

I wasn't watching for you.'

We were very polite, this stranger and I.

We went on our way and we said goodbye.

But at home a different story is told,

How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking an evening meal,

My son stood beside me very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.

'Move out of the way,' I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken.

I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake in bed,

God's still small voice came to me and said,

'While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use,

But the family you love, you seem to abuse.

Go look on the kitchen floor,

You'll find some flowers there by the door...

Those are the flowers he brought for you.

He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.

He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,

You never saw the tears that filled his little eyes.'

By this time, I felt very small,

And now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed;

'Wake up, little one, wake up,' I said.

'Are these the flowers you picked for me?'

He smiled, 'I found 'em, out by the tree.

I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.

I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue.'

I said, 'Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;

I shouldn't have yelled at you that way.'

He said, 'Oh, Mom, that's okay.

I love you anyway.'

I said, 'Son I love you too,

And I do like the flowers, especially the blue.'

|author unknown|

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Let's make a goal to hug more, and get frustrated less. . .

xoxo

jordan

*image here*

{ clarifying 'the dancer' }

{warning: serious content ahead}

Remember this post about our brief stay at Vegas?

I just received a comment about it that pulled at my gut a little bit. The commenter wrote:

Bwahaha!!! You took your family to the Vegas Strip and then blame the HOTEL for exposing your kids to scum??!?wow, that's funny. Funny in a very sad sort of way.

Now I don't know if she was just teasing a little, or being completely serious, {where's that darn sarcasm font when you need it} but it kinda broke my heart. It confirmed the guilt I already felt for taking the loves of my life there, but it also made me realize that I must be a horrible writer, because the point of the story was not that visible.

{No, this is not a "I need sympathy" post whatsoever. Just the real, raw me clarifying.}

But I actually thanked this commenter for her feedback. 'Cuz who knows how many people out there were/are thinking the exact same thing.

And for that I apologize.

I keep thinking that everyone 'knows' me. I keep thinking that everyone would automatically know that I would never take my kids anywhere without doing research first. I keep thinking that everyone knows that I am the most trusting person, and will take the advice of friends and family who have 'been there and done that'.

So to those of you who don't know me personally, here's the background of our Vegas story.

I asked around. I did. I got the advice of people I knew who had taken their families to Vegas. Granted they hadn't been there in awhile, but I got the tips and tricks. We should stay at either this or this hotel, do this and that, not this or that- you know, that kind of advice. When we came back and told those people, they were mortified. They felt horrible, because they had given us bad info.

So it is to you, dear readers who have either had a safe experience, or have heard of someone that had and were contemplating a short hotel stay one night, that I wrote that post for. Vegas has changed. We paid to learn that, and I wanted to pass on that nugget of information, so no one else makes the same mistake, or gives advice to others about their safe time.

It is not cheap anymore. They do not cater to families anymore. No matter what anyone tells you. I shouldn't have cared that my husband hadn't slept for 25 hours and needed to stop at a hotel {he doesn't like to sleep when I drive- weird}. Next time we will drive right on past and hit the next available town.

That's big.

Because Mr. Smith got robbed at gunpoint once in a small town on the outskirts of Vegas a couple years ago while filling up at a gas station.

Which is why we thought a hotel on the actual strip with lots of people would be a little safer.

'Cuz I would rather teach my little girl that pole dancing is bad, than to visit her grave...

So go hug those kids tight, and don't ever take them near Vegas.

xoxo

jordan

ps- I also found out this morning that my friend's brother past away last weekend {talk about a tearful morning}. An account has been set up at the Bank of American Fork on the behalf of Aaron Garrett. He leaves behind a 4 year old son, and all donations {that can be made at any branch} will go towards funeral costs and the financial support of his son. To any of you who are able to help, thank you.

{ camryn's corner + vacation recap }

Can I just tell you how nice it was to get out of the heat???

We had a glorious vacation, although we didn't get everything done on 'the list' that we had hoped to accomplish.

Sorry Camryn. Maybe next time we can do a lemonade stand. ; )

Our vacation flew by. I think perhaps two weeks would have been better...

In the small/short/quick week we were in Utah, we filled everyday with activities and visits. Here's a quick visual recap of some of the festivities. All taken with my phone.

Because I forgot the camera at home. Yep I did.

Eating out is very common while on vacation.

Each of our eat-out meals were accompanied by this delicacy:

We drove up Provo canyon and marveled at the beauty:

And the kids played while we tin-foiled our dinners under the canyon canopy of trees:

We watched a bunch of these take off:

And dug up and built dinosaurs and their bones:

All while enjoying the company of 976 children running around and having

the time of their lives:

There was also a family bbq, where Cam and I laughed till we almost peed. {I seriously love that gal} To see a pic of me { with really white teeth ;) } head on over to mmu for visual proof of our encounter. While you're over there, read Camryn's post about her summer and check out the wicked awesome picture of her shooting a gun. She's one hot momma...

*sniff*

I miss her already...

It was so great to spend time with family, and both Mr. Smith and I are having a hard time adjusting to reality. {Don't you even DARE ask how much weight was gained over the course of said vacation} But I hope you all had a great Fourth of July holiday!

------------------

Have a great week!

------------------

xoxo

jordan

ps- stay tuned for an awesome giveaway . . .

and a story involving my daughter and a . . .

"dancer".

{ a red letter day }

The summer is flying by, with only a little over a month left for us.

{insert weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth here.}

And with this eye opening fact, I feel a little guilty that I haven't provided proper brain stimulating, character building and fun family activities for the wee ones.

Enter: the world wide web.

Have you seen these?

{image found here}

You find letters in nature/objects and create words. How fun would it be to make your own? How fun would it be for your kids to help? {All while adding that crucial element of proper brain stimuli.}

So I decided to take my kids on an alphabet scavenger hunt. {Around the house mind you, it's just way too hot outside. When it cools down, we will travel through the fresh air in search for any one of the 26 letters included in our alphabet.}

I was Awesome Mommy for the day . . . my kids LOVED it! I handed my 7 and 3 yr old the camera, gave them a few photography tips and then sent them on their way, in search of typographical elements they could capture for their collage.

While your kids are capturing priceless images, head on over to Leo Reynold's flicker images to find some awesome letters to create your own words. Be mindful that these are to be used only for home and personal use, though. I found him through Amy Gregson's blog. Here are some examples that I put together really quick with Leo's amazing photos:

*

*

*

Armed with the family camera, have your kids find the letters in their names and then make their own letter art.

You're family name is another great thing to do . . . get creative!

When you're done, Costco or Walmart can make poster sized prints, or there are other websites that will do the same. Print them off, frame them, etc. It's something you can do all together, especially for Family Night!

Now go grab your cameras and get out there!

--------------------------

Happy Alphabet Scavenging!

--------------------------

xoxo

jordan

ps- forgot to do Camryn's Corner last Monday. Check out her post here, in which I would also like to echo her title, "Where has the month gone?"

{Sorry Cam!}

{ muffins with mom }

I went over to my son's school yesterday for a little party celebrating moms.

I love his school.

I walked down the hall to his classroom, and was greeted halfway there by my sweet boy who had a beautiful handmade drinking-straw-and-cut-out-paper-flowers necklace in hand.

I wore it proudly. ;)

He grabbed my hand and led me into the classroom and ushered me to his chair, pulling it out for me.

I beamed.

He then sat on my lap as we waited for the other mothers to arrive.

My leg got sore.

We decided to walk around the classroom, so he could show me all of his projects.

I praised his good work.

He showed me his name on the birthday calendar.

'Cuz I forgot when it was.

We then sat down for instructions.

Sore leg again.

The students, by table, went up and grabbed muffins and a drink for them and their mothers.

I decided to make the healthier choice and NOT choose chocolate.

Then he cleared up my plate, napkin and water bottle and put it in the trash.

I didn't even ask.

They went to the front and recited a cute little poem.

I don't remember the words.

I was too busy smiling.

Then the teacher read a book titled "What Moms Can't Do".

I laughed.

We then had the option to check our kiddos out of school for the day.

I did.

When we got home, I read the cute booklet my son created honoring me.

Let's examine:

{My scanner isn't working so I had to take pics. With my phone. Cuz the battery died in my camera. One of those days.}

The Perfect Cover.

The wind blowing through my hair and kite. Grass blowing gently as I levitate above it.

Hidden Meaning: My son thinks of me as his 'Highness' and there is no wind that can blow me down. I am an anchor. A.k.a solid. A.k.a. muscular.

My stats.

I'm glad my son thinks of me as VERY tall and VERY skinny. I'm sending this in to my doctor's office, to replace my records there.

Hidden Meaning: I am in fact, very nice, slender {snort}, and it's not that my eyes are pytuful {read: pitiful}, it's just that I am always showing pity on those around me. Through my eyes. Cuz they are the windows to the soul.

My hair is a cross between brown and amber, therefore the answer really is that my hair is braown.

Pizza is not my favorite, but since I take pity on my children {with my eyes - Mr. Smith included} I buy them pizza.

My favorite color is green, but he wrote blue because.... well, that's how we spell green at our house. B-L-U-E. Green.

My Favorites.

Let's clear this up super quick.

Hidden Meaning: I love to bribe my kids. My favorite food to bribe them with is ice-cream. Since bribing is so loved by me, so is the ice-cream I bribe them with.

I love the computer. This is the problem. So through a deep and profound drawing he is saying that I don't like that I'm in love with my computer.

A lot.

This is a lovely portrait of me and him.

Hidden Meaning: Even though it should be a picture of me doing laundry, dishes, picking up, scrubbing toilets, etc., he is simply stating that I spend most of my time wishing that I was spending it with him. This boy is pretty deep.

What I daydream about.

Hidden Meaning: He is the center of my world. I just need to point out that he just forgot to draw his sister, daddy, Mathew McConaughey and a lovely southern plantation home by a little beach cove with mountains all around.

They just don't give these kids enough time in class to draw I guess...

This is a picture of a bunk bed.

Cuz that's what I would wish for if I had just ONE wish.

Hidden Meaning: My son wished for a bunk bed. And he got one. He was super happy. A bunk bed made him happy. I don't have one. He wants me to be happy. So naturally I would wish for a bunk bed. To find happiness.

Isn't that what all of us would wish for?

To be happy?

Besides. I noticed it's made of gold.

That's why he drew me jumping up and down for joy.

Three eyes, pant-less and all.

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Here's to 'reading into' our kids work!

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xoxo

jordan

{ sugar and spice and... ok, a lot of spice }

I love my three year old. She can drive me crazy and make me fall head over heals for her all in the same minute. I thought that today I would dedicate my post to her. Because she did something crazy before bed:

Apparently, to a three year old, "go grab a book so I can read it to you" is code for "go grab the potato peeler just right so it slices your finger and won't stop bleeding". Who knew? I surely didn't. And I am a firm believer that when one is out of bandaids, tissue and masking tape are the perfect solution to stopping the blood from gushing everywhere.

Oh yes I did.

Why does she think I am going to cause her more pain when I ask to look at her cut???? It was like wrestling a rhino {ok, maybe not that bad} trying to get her to show me the magnitude of her wound. It wasn't that magnitudious {New word. Webster called. He wants to use it in his dictionary.}, but the bugger wouldn't stop bleeding. So after convincing her that I was just going to hold it {aka- put pressure on it}, she was just fine. In fact, she wouldn't let me stop holding her finger when I tried to leave her so she could go to sleep. With tears and the cutest massive frown, I was sucked into her little world.

Now she's finally asleep. Thank you bubble-gum-flavored ibuprofen.

Since this post is dedicated to Em, I thought I would post some of my Facebook status updates that refer to her, just for kicks and giggles.

After begging to smell my new bathroom cleaner, Em said "Mmmmmmm! Smells like bathroom juice!"

{If anyone knows what bathroom juice is, don't tell me. I don't want to know.}

Upon asking why on earth she was crying, Em replied, "Water Is Coming Out Of My Eye!!!!". Learning the Facts Of Life can be so rough....

Em: "mommy, fix my bum". Me: "???". Her: "no- I get it". And then she pulled out her wedgie. Awesome. Operation Fix Bum: success.

Em just put some captian crunch in the milk jug and I CANNOT, for the life of me, fish them out. Oh well. Guess the milk will have a fruity yet sweet aftertaste... Who's the lucky one who gets the 'surprise'?! Mmmmm

Em just told me she couldn't flush the toilet because she had to "show Daddy". Sweet.

You know you have good friends when they end up cleaning your daughter's finger painting mess while babysitting, which by the way, she used her own fecal matter to make said art, and then offer to watch her AGAIN. Crazy people... ;)

Item up for Auction: One 3 year old girl. Enjoys flushing her panties down the toilet. Because she refuses to poop in the toilet. And then cleans up her 'mess' by herself, making a bigger mess for you. Also just recently picked up the hobby of saying 'shut your mouth' when being asked to do something. Enjoys sitting in time out. I will start the bidding at $1. Do I hear a $1?

It's amazing how much more willing one is to clean things with an amazing pair of yellow rubber gloves. I won't go into details, but a pee soaked cracker was included in today's clean up routine...

potty training in the winter goes like this: put child on toilet. she screams. it's too cold. put panties back on her, give her breakfast, turn on heater. come back down, child is peeing on chair. take her to bathroom and order the removal of nasty panties. child refuses. why? because they're "warm mommy!".

Watching the spectacle that is Em... she is eating her chicken nuggets with a fork. (Not to be confused with a spoon, which is what she originally asked for.)

My daughter has an addiction to dairy products and is now paying the price . . .

Two in the AM is NOT a good bedtime, mmmkay pumpkin?

Okay, WHY did I dress Em BEFORE she ate breakfast?!?!?! 2 yr old + white shirt + breakfast = .... yeah....

Come on over and see if you can guess which chair my 2 year old sits in when she eats...

A walk that ends with a collection of pinecones and flowers is ALWAYS a good walk...

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It's funny how we want to strangle and snuggle our kids all in the same day....

So here's to more snuggling and less strangling...

Hopefully.

We'll see how tomorrow goes.

xoxo

jordan