5.07.2009

{ i heart mix tapes }

I am a HUGE eighties fan.  HUGE.  I love to reminisce, but more importantly- I love to LAUGH at them!  Man, those were good times.  

Saturday morning cartoons, TGIF, Happy Meals in Boxes, not paper bags, "jellies", leg warmers, etc.  They were simpler days.  You didn't need to do much, just make sure your clothing was of a neon/fluorescent hue- didn't have to match, but if you had matching socks, that was even better.  And if you wore two pairs of socks and folded them over so you could see both colors, that was the best.  BUT, if you alternated the colors so your left foot had a pink/green combo and your right had a green/pink combo, then that was Dy-NO-Mite!

I also feel this need to protect the eighties.  It's a motherly instinct that pours through my blood.  Don't let these fond memories die!  So when I came across a pic from an episode of some "trendy"  TV show, where they want to do an eighties flashback spinoff whatever thing, I wanted to scream "Like, Oh my Gosh!!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"
It is ALL WRONG!!!

First off- WHO LOOKED LIKE THIS IN THE EIGHTIES????????  
The jacket: needs shoulder pads or just more fabric to make the shoulders "poofy".
The make-up: needs to be less black around the eyes {have we forgotten blue eyeshadow?}, TONS of blush applied in a horizontal stripe, and no one was afraid of lipstick back then.
The hair:  are you kidding me?  Where's the poof?  The bangs?  The layers?  The mullet? Can you say "perm"?  

They should really fire the costume designers and make-up/hair artists and hire someone who actually LIVED through the eighties.  Someone who knows how to party like it's 1999, someone who has Goonie blood running through them,  someone who can actually do a Care Bear Stare.  Are we a dying breed????

If they had just given me a call....  
The poor little actress would have KILLED me for messing with her several thousand dollar hair extensions!  But it would have been Historically Accurate.

So to those of you who survived the gnarly 80's, here's to you...

You know you grew up in the 1980's IF...

01. You've ever ended a sentence with the word PSYCHE.
02. You watched the Pound Puppies.
03. You can sing the rap to the Fresh Prince of Bellaire ..and do the Carlton.
04. You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylishly sexy.
05. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried starting a club of your own.
06. You owned those lil' Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.
07. You know that WHOA comes from Joey on Blossom
08. Two words: Hammer Pants
09. If you ever watched Fraggle Rock
10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars...and spokey-dokes or playing cards on your spokes for that inc incredible sound effect
11. You can sing the entire theme song to DuckTales (Woo-ooh!)
12. It was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
14. You saw the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the big screen...and still know the turtles names.
15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
16. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.
 {I also used rubber bands and hair elastics}
17. You played the game MASH (Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House)
18. You wore stonewashed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it.
19. L.A. Gear....need I say more?
20. You wanted to change you your name to JEM in Kindergarten. (She's truly outrageous.)
21. You remember reading Tales of a fourth grade nothing and all the Ramona books.
22. You know the profound meaning of WAX ON, WAX OFF
23. You wanted to be a Goonie.
24. You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (some of us...head-to-toe)
25. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off and his cheeks shifted.
 {It doesn't matter if you're black or white, though...}
26. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
27. 
You carried your lunch to school in a Gremlins, ET, Dukes of Hazards, Knight Rider, Strawberry Shortcake or A-Team lunch box.... and traded Garbage Pail in the schoolyard.
28. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.
29. You still get the urge to say NOT after every sentence.
30. You remember Hypercolor t-shirts.
31. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.
32. You thought She-ra (Princess of Power!) and He-Man should hook up.
 {I totally did 'till I found out they were brother and sister- Dang}
33 . You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged handmade friendship bracelets.
 {Yeah!  Where are they now?!}
34. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes. (and like, probably in neon colors, too)
35. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying I know you are, but what am I?
36. You remember I've fallen and I can't get up
37. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.
38. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.
39. You have ever played with a Skip-It.
40. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds.  
{Or Hardee's!  Remember Hardee's?}
41. You've gone through this nodding your head in agreement.
42. You remember Popples.
43. Don't worry, be happy
44. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top Reeboks.
45. You wore socks scrunched down (and sometimes still do...getting yelled at by younger hip members of the family)
46. You remember boom boxes.. and walking around with one on your shoulder like you were all that.
47. You remember watching both Gremlins movies.
48. You remember watching Rainbow Bright and My Little Pony Tales
49. You thought Doogie Howser/Samantha Micelli was hot.
50. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.
51. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool...and don't even flinch when people refer to them as NKOTB
52. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on Saved By The Bell, The ORIGINAL class.
53. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - SHOT THROUGH THE HEART.
54. You just sang those words to yourself.  
55. You remember watching Magic vs. Bird.
56. Homemade Levi shorts. (the shorter the better)
57. You remember when mullets were cool!
58. You had a mullet!
59. You still sing We are the World
60. You tight rolled your jeans.  
{Common- who didn't?}
61. You owned a banana clip  
{Shamefully- multiples}
62. You remember where's the Beef?
63. You used to (and probably still do) say "What you talk in' about Willis?"
64. You had big hair and you knew how to use it.
{As long as I had AuquaNet hairspray!}
65. You're still singing shot through the heart in your head, aren't you!!!
66. When you hear the song & I quote; Do you believe in magic & the first thing you think of is McDonalds.

67.You know that another name for a keyboard is a "Synthesizer."
68.You can sing the McDonald's Big Mack, Filet-o-Fish, quarter pounder and French fry song.
69.You know who Mr. T is.
70.You know Fat Albert and the man behind his voice.
71.You could break-dance, or wish you could.
 {Still do- much to the sorrow of my family}
72.You wanted to be "a punk" for Halloween.
 {I wish I had pictures...}
73.You thought that Transformers were more than meets the eye.
74.You knew that "knowing is half the battle."
75.You wanted to be on Star Search.
76.You understood when Scooby Doo said, "Rut row raggy?" and laughed when Shaggy said "Zoinks!"
77.You actually thought "Dirty Dancing" was a REALLY good movie.
73.You remember when ATARI was a state of the art video game system.
74.You owned any cassettes.
 {Shamefully still do- I just can't part with my "mix" tapes...}
75.You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we'd all be living on the moon.
76.You remember and/or owned any of the Care Bear Glass collection from Pizza Hut or the Muppets glasses from McDonalds.
77.Poltergeist freaked you out.
78."Bueller?"
79.You know what leg warmers are and probably had a pair.  {Even better when you wear them with high heels!}
80.You wore your Izod shirt with the collar up.
81.You remember when Saturday Night Live was funny.  {And much cleaner...}
82.You had Wonder Woman or Superman underoos.
83.You know what a "Push Up" ice cream is.
84.You had to come in the house when the street lights came on.
85.You had to change into play clothes after school.
86.You owned, or knew somebody with a Commodore 64.
87.You hated Scrappy Doo.
88.You recorded songs off the radio with your boom box.  {How do you think I MADE my mix tapes?}
89.You wish you had a light saber.
90.Somehow you still know all the words to songs played on VH1
91.Your arm was full of rubber bracelets.
92.You have ever said, "Gag me with a spoon."
93.You had to get up to change the channel.  {Not much has changed there}
94.You can still sing 1 to 12 from the Pinball machine on Sesame Street.  {And multiple others...}
95.You thought the "Thriller" video was pretty cool.  {Didn't everybody?}
96.You remember the first time you went into a video store to rent a movie.
97.You know which movie "I want my two dollars" came from.
98.You still cannot go in to the water because of that dang movie "Jaws".
99.You get all choked up when the theme from Karate Kid plays on the radio.
100.You know that it's Chicago singing that song.  {Mmmmm- Peter Cetera...}

I am the man who will fight for your honor- if only my hubby could sing.... I would make him sing that to me EVERY FREAKIN' DAY.  

And now, I must leave- got a cassette to listen to 'cuz girls just wanna have fun!  Feel free to reminisce about all the other 80's subjects I have left out... while listening to your mix tapes.  {I KNOW you have them!}

Have a Totally Tubular Day!

8 post a comment :

{jordan} said...

I totally found some more eighties related stuff- I'll just copy and paste:

1. Large Plastic Earrings. These were so big, it's a good thing they were plastic or our earlobes would have pulled off. They featured bright colors and wild designs.
2. A belt with metal studs in it. Usually black or a neon color, this belt sat low on the hips and wrapped around at least 2 times. Matching studded bracelet optional.
3. Big Hair. Guys, girls, it didn't matter. Big hair was of the utmost importance. Sales of mousse and Aqua Net probably made up 1/3 of the GNP during the 80s.
4. Swatch watches - Anywhere between 1 and 3 could be worn comfortably at one time. Usually interspersed with various friendship bracelets, rubber or metal bangles. The Swatch Guard was another must.
5. Parachute Pants - These comfy pants were only sold for guys unfortunately but were way cool because of their many zippers and comfortable, lightweight fabric.
6. Hightop Sneakers - Was it the aerobics craze or the new superstar endorsements that made these huge. Reebok, LA Gear, Converse and Nike were the popular brands and usually worn with at least 2 pairs of multi-colored laces and scrunchy socks.
7. Spandex - By itself or under a dress or skirt. Short or long, colored or patterned, apparel made of spandex was a major part of the 80s wardrobe. Probably the least missed fashion trend of the 80s.
8. Hats - The rappers wore them turned to the side, the girls wore them pushed way back so their big hair could stick out (thank you Debbie Gibson) but we all had them.
9. 1 Glove - Don't lie. We all idolized Michael Jackson for his music, dance moves and fashion forward attire. No one can properly moonwalk without wearing a single glove, preferably sequined.
10. The Members Only Jacket - No list would be complete without this must-have fashion item of the 80s. The 80s was all about cliques and proving you were better than everyone else and there was nothing that said you subscribed to this way of thinking like the Members Only Jacket.

{jordan} said...

One more thing- check out retrojunk.com! i laughed, I cried, it moved me...
If you want to listen to theme songs from eighties shows- this is the website for you!

One Cluttered Brain said...

WOW! I think you got about ALL of the 80's memoirs there are. I was thinking "Where's the beef?" But then I read it, you got to it...WOW! Am I ever impressed! I LOVED the 80's. You forgot Whitney Houston "The greatest love of all" And "Like a virgin" by Madonna are 2 songs that I loved! Also if you ever dressed up for Madonna on Halloween cause like you thought she was so cool. And did you happen to mention the word "like"? Is that a 80's thing or a 90's thing? I can't remember. I LIKE this post! Cool!

Mama Nut said...

I loved the eighties! I remember just about all that stuff, on both your lists. And you are totally right about that girl -- she DID NOT look eighties! I love the makeover! I totally had a girly mollet! Buffy bangs, the neon layer socks, teeshirt ties, jelly shoes. I still have mix tapes! Got to love the old TV shows: McGyver, Murder She wrote, 90210 (although I think that was mainly in the 90's). I actually went to a New Kid's concert... lol. Remember Cris-Cross and all the boys would wear their jeans backwards?? Or Vanilla Ice... hahaha Great times! Love the flashbacks!

Heather said...

OH how I love the 80's!!! It's great! I think I have done all of these when they were "in fashion" and scary of scary, the legging with the mini skirt is coming back! And...I saw some teenage girls wearing LEGWARMERS!!! talk about memories.

Teri said...

I laugh so hard when I see "kids today" wearing things we used to....leg warmers, leggings under long shirts, really huge earrings. Do they even make Aqua Net anymore??? Man, I feel so old!

Thanks for the great laugh. My sides are hurting now! :)

Shannon said...

I read this way earlier today & it made me totally crack up. I remember my totally awesome L.A. Gear sweatshirt & wearing my jean skirts with really tan nylons & 2-3 pairs of color coordinated socks with my express tennis shoes from Mervyn's. Those were the days. The bigger the hoops the better. I LOVE the 80's. They're trying to bring it back, but it's like, not the same. HAHAHAHAHA

{jordan} said...

I know! I saw a commercial for high tops! WHAT?! I guess that's okay, but they better not bring back mullets (as much as I love them) or I will cry- some things need to be left in the past!

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