{ traveling with kids. to the desert. }

{assignment 7 of school days seminar- subject: travel studies}

Dear Family-Who-Wants-To-Visit-HOTness,

Welcome to the lovely land of Lava Rock and Cacti. Where flamingos and howling turquoise coyotes plague the yards of those over the age of 55. Where jagged southwestern designs are carved right into the walls of the freeways. Where vehicles packed with Seniors going 45 mph cut right in front of you. In the fast lane. Thank you, Grandpa.

Yes, this is the Grand Canyon State. The Valley of the Sun. The deathly really warm state of Arizona. The state in which I now call 'home'. But also the state in which I took my very first breath . . . of . . . life.

{Pause for dramatic effect.}

Did Cowboys and Indians race across the forefront of your mind when I mentioned AZ? {I haven't broken down and bought me the hat or boots yet- they make those cute now, right?} If the Old West is your thing, then you need to take the kids to Tombstone, "The Town Too Tough to Die". Go catch a reenactment of an old western gunfight, shake hands with Wyatt Earp himself and rub shoulders with Doc Holliday at the O.K. Corral.

But, if hubcap sized belt buckles and ten gallon hats aren't your cup o' tea, then grab a cheap hotel and visit the Scottsdale Six Drive-in theater.

Oh, yes. We still have the classic drive-in. Bring your boom box {yes, I just called it that}, some treats {unless you want to buy the burgers, fries, nachos, pizza, candy or drinks offered there}, chairs, blankets, pillows and games for the kids to play while waiting for your featured presentation to start. The Very Best Part? Adults are $4 and kids are One Dollar. Uno. Un. Satu. Ein. ONE. And it's for TWO movies. Dos. Zwei. . . We take our truck and throw a futon mattress in the back along with 9,673,482 blankets and pillows. It's the bomb. The Cheap Bomb.

Now if you've saved up for 3 years to take this trip, then I suggest you give Barro's Pizza a try. Fantastico! But if you've only saved up for 3 months and are traveling with your n-i-n-e children, then the local Little Caesar's 5-buck pizza is an excellent choice. And there's one a few blocks away from the drive-in.

Too perfect for words.

Then grab yourself a Bahama Buck's gourmet shaved ice.

You'll thank me later.

Have you ever had Thanksgiving Dinner at a park? Yeah, it's pretty awesome- makes for a spectacular Turkey Bowl game. And no, our parks are not made of spray-painted gravel and sagebrush. There is grass here.

In plenty of parks.

And golf courses.

Golfing here is expensive though. And why wouldn't it be? Tiger Woods likes to golf here. But I don't. Did you know that the word golf is actually an acronym for Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden? Soooo, I don't golf for fear of the Scottish and their fury reigning down upon me.

When it's not 1,573,642° outside, there are lovely trails and man made lakes to visit.

And plenty {as in like, a LOT} of Walmarts around to buy snacks and liquid hydration for such outdoor adventures. If you find yourself driving along and miss the turnoff to Walmart, do not worry, you will see another one in about 10 minutes.

I recommend taking the long, scenic way to get to places. You never know what kind of small shop or perfect photo backdrop you will encounter.

{check out more of Donald's a-may-zing photos}

Don't forget to stop by here. A good place to just sit and . . . think. {If the kids allow it.} And if you have time, check out Lake Havasu's London Bridge. The First.

And now, dear traveler, who brings along her family to create a love and deep family bond-ing-ship-ness: I have one little nugget of advice. Please don't speed, or you will be awarded one of these:

{Yes, it's a blurry picture. Yes, I still blacked out my sweetheart's info.}

And when it's raining outside, don't even think about driving. There's a little thing we like to call the Stupid Motorist Law. True Story. Flash floods happen pretty darn often and if you get stuck and need rescuing, whoooo baby. It'll be one hefty fine. A fine that can sing to the tune of $2,000.

I also found this website helpful for planning those I've-only-been-saving-for-3-months Vacations to the desert. And yes, your children will probably call you the Meanest Mommy in the World when you tell them you're going to Arizona for your family vacation instead of Disneyland. But once they get here, I think they'll change that tune pretty quickly. . . as long as you don't forget the swimsuits and sunscreen. . .