{ mr. smith is a terrible liar, and other lessons learned }

Before I begin, I would like to post an open letter:

Dear Burger King employee,

I do not doubt your abilities to multi-task,

And believe that you are a master of doing two things at once,

But PLEASE stop texting while you are taking my order.

Do I come across as not that important?

Is it because I ordered off the Value Menu?

I don't care if they only pay you minimum wage.

Put the phone down.

Unless a family member is DYING.

Many thanks.

Whew! Glad to get that off my chest.

I learned a few lessons last week, while vacationing in the Lone Star State, and I thought I would share with all y'all. The first begins with a story:

Mr. Smith and I are finishing up a diet. Now while I fully believe that cheating every now and then is totally acceptable, we both still have a few more pounds to shed {ok- me like 4 and him like 30. Scout's honor}. So trying to change our lifestyle habits is kinda important. Like parking further away from a store entrance, taking stairs, etc.

So my hubby and his brother {who will from now on be known as Doc} decide that golfing would be a pleasurable activity that two brothers, who haven't seen each other in a year, would highly enjoy. The wives agreed that they could go, but I had one stipulation. They could not rent a golf cart- for Mr. Smith's sake. They happily agreed and went merrily on their way.

A few hours later, my SIL {who will from now on be know as Sassy Momma} called to see what their ETA would be.

No answer.

She calls again.

Still nothing.

I call Mr. Smith's cell.

No answer.

I call again:

Hubby: Hello?

Me: Hey! Why aren't you guys answering your phones?

Hubby: {laughs} Sorry! We had left our phones in the cart.

Me: What?! You got a cart?! You PROMISED me you wouldn't get a cart!!!

Hubby: What do you mean? We didn't get a cart.

Me: You JUST said that you left your phones in the C A R T .

{Dead Silence}

Hubby: Crap. I did, didn't I.

Now please don't think I'm a nagging wife, it's just that Mr. Smith asked me to help him loose the weight. So I'm being harsh on him. Even though I just brought him home some cake. BUT he didn't eat it, so see? My nagging help is paying off!

Things I learned over the vacation week:

1 | I hate 16 hour drives.

2 | There should be no such thing as rest stops that have no restrooms. They call them picnic areas. {Why would someone want to picnic in the middle of nowhere? Who would drive to the middle of nowhere to have a picnic while some guys, sitting in their diesel trucks, are watching you?}

3 | Every state should have a diesel truck speed limit and a regular vehicle speed limit. Genius.

4 | The freeway lanes in San Antonio are actually smaller than normal. It's wicked scary.

5 | I don't hate humidity as much as I thought I did. At least in March.

6 | My children need to be closer to their cousins.

7 | I need to be closer to Sassy Momma.

8 | Mr. Smith needs to be closer to Doc.

9 | This only once a year visiting them crap needs to stop.

10 | I wish I lived next door.

11 | I got teary eyed when we left.

12 | I hate that I have stupid mommy emotions.

13 | Even if I have completely lost my voice, I will do whatever it takes to keep on talking with Sassy Momma.

14 | I hate computer games.

15 | Two o'clock in the morning is a perfectly reasonable time to go to bed.

16 | I want to visit again.

17 | It's totally worth the 16 hour drive.

AND...

18 | Someone needs to inform Nissan that it's not cool to build their 2008 Frontiers without cruise control. Seriously. It's not even the base model. I didn't realize cruise control was an upgrade. I thought it was standard nowadays.

We arrived home safe and sound, ticket free and bummed that it was over so quick. And don't tell Mr. Smith that I told you, but he had a really hard time the next morning. We're talking emotional break-down hard time. It's hard when one of your best friends lives so far away. And ya know what? The tears only made me love him more....

{So Sassy Momma and Doc: hurry up and finish school so we can live closer! My kids keep asking/whining when they are going to play with the princess and the little squirt. Between them and hubby's breakdowns I don't know how much longer I can deal with all these emotions from everyone!}

xoxo

jordan

ps. It feels weird that I don't have any pics to go with this post-like it's incomplete or something. Anyone else like that?