3.25.2010

{ sugar and spice and... ok, a lot of spice }

I love my three year old. She can drive me crazy and make me fall head over heals for her all in the same minute. I thought that today I would dedicate my post to her. Because she did something crazy before bed:

Apparently, to a three year old, "go grab a book so I can read it to you" is code for "go grab the potato peeler just right so it slices your finger and won't stop bleeding". Who knew? I surely didn't. And I am a firm believer that when one is out of bandaids, tissue and masking tape are the perfect solution to stopping the blood from gushing everywhere.
Oh yes I did.

Why does she think I am going to cause her more pain when I ask to look at her cut???? It was like wrestling a rhino {ok, maybe not that bad} trying to get her to show me the magnitude of her wound. It wasn't that magnitudious {New word. Webster called. He wants to use it in his dictionary.}, but the bugger wouldn't stop bleeding. So after convincing her that I was just going to hold it {aka- put pressure on it}, she was just fine. In fact, she wouldn't let me stop holding her finger when I tried to leave her so she could go to sleep. With tears and the cutest massive frown, I was sucked into her little world.

Now she's finally asleep. Thank you bubble-gum-flavored ibuprofen.

Since this post is dedicated to Em, I thought I would post some of my Facebook status updates that refer to her, just for kicks and giggles.

After begging to smell my new bathroom cleaner, Em said "Mmmmmmm! Smells like bathroom juice!"
{If anyone knows what bathroom juice is, don't tell me. I don't want to know.}

Upon asking why on earth she was crying, Em replied, "Water Is Coming Out Of My Eye!!!!". Learning the Facts Of Life can be so rough....


Em: "mommy, fix my bum". Me: "???". Her: "no- I get it". And then she pulled out her wedgie. Awesome. Operation Fix Bum: success.


Em just put some captian crunch in the milk jug and I CANNOT, for the life of me, fish them out. Oh well. Guess the milk will have a fruity yet sweet aftertaste... Who's the lucky one who gets the 'surprise'?! Mmmmm

Em just told me she couldn't flush the toilet because she had to "show Daddy". Sweet.


You know you have good friends when they end up cleaning your daughter's finger painting mess while babysitting, which by the way, she used her own fecal matter to make said art, and then offer to watch her AGAIN. Crazy people... ;)


Item up for Auction: One 3 year old girl. Enjoys flushing her panties down the toilet. Because she refuses to poop in the toilet. And then cleans up her 'mess' by herself, making a bigger mess for you. Also just recently picked up the hobby of saying 'shut your mouth' when being asked to do something. Enjoys sitting in time out. I will start the bidding at $1. Do I hear a $1?


It's amazing how much more willing one is to clean things with an amazing pair of yellow rubber gloves. I won't go into details, but a pee soaked cracker was included in today's clean up routine...

potty training in the winter goes like this: put child on toilet. she screams. it's too cold. put panties back on her, give her breakfast, turn on heater. come back down, child is peeing on chair. take her to bathroom and order the removal of nasty panties. child refuses. why? because they're "warm mommy!".


Watching the spectacle that is Em... she is eating her chicken nuggets with a fork. (Not to be confused with a spoon, which is what she originally asked for.)


My daughter has an addiction to dairy products and is now paying the price . . .


Two in the AM is NOT a good bedtime, mmmkay pumpkin?

Okay, WHY did I dress Em BEFORE she ate breakfast?!?!?! 2 yr old + white shirt + breakfast = .... yeah....


Come on over and see if you can guess which chair my 2 year old sits in when she eats...


A walk that ends with a collection of pinecones and flowers is ALWAYS a good walk...

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It's funny how we want to strangle and snuggle our kids all in the same day....

So here's to more snuggling and less strangling...

Hopefully.

We'll see how tomorrow goes.

xoxo

jordan

6 post a comment :

DustyLu said...

Sweet post! So real and honest! She is adorable and your photography captures it so well! ~lulu

DustyLu said...

Sweet post! So real and honest! She is adorable and your photography captures it so well! ~lulu

Anita said...

I normally stalk your posts in silence, but I had to comment on this one. Absoultely fabulous! I laughed and sympathized the whole way through. What a wonderful post. Thank you!

Pamla Barrett said...

Ok, so I know you and I wouldn't know each other if we ran into each other but can I say that your posts always make my day better! I love how witty and funny and honest they are. I have a blog. Not nearly as entertaining. So I thought I'd say thank you. And your little girl reminds me of my little girl (whose just barely 4). Very sweet, adorable, and knows exactly what she wants...to put it nicely! :)

mindy said...

I laughed so hard! I love that our girls are only weeks apart maybe even days... and I could relate all too well to each post! We do need to get them together some day I think they would be as good of friends as we were growing up... how I miss you my dear!

If we ever meet again ... said...

This made me laugh out loud. Cheers to you and your daughter, she will truly enjoy things like this when she is older.

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