4.29.2010

{ universal truths }

You may have seen these already, through the ingenious invention called electronic mail.
I laughed super hard when I read them, so I thought I would share it with you.
{Italics = peanut gallery}
1 | I think the part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2 | Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. {Not that I've experienced this... I've just heard. From others.}

3 | I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. {You can do that?}

4 | There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

5 | How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? {Actually, read here}

6 | Was learning cursive really necessary? {Or calculus for that matter?}

7 | Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my own neighborhood.

8 | Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9 | I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.

10 | Bad decisions make great stories. {Again. Not that I would know. *insert sarcasm font here*}

11 | You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment during the day when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. {Hence, I blog.}

12| Can we all just agree to ignore whatever invention comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my movie collection....again. That goes for audio too!

13 | I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14 | "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash it - ever.

15 | I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring, but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16 | I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17 | I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18 | I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19 | I wish that Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

20 | Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize that I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it. {Can we say Grease?}

21 | I would rather carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take two trips to bring my groceries in. {Cold compress works great.}

22 | The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text. {Well, actually, for me it's read a text. I have enough trouble just texting, let alone driving too. Plus I'm paranoid - that's right. I saw that special on Oprah.}

23 | I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. {Let's see - flour, sugar, butter, eggs, cocoa powder, cook book...}

24 | How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? {This happens on a daily basis.}

25 | Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

26 | There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

27 | Sometimes I'll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

And because I have issues ending a list on 27, I thought I would add my own:

28 | Drinks always taste better when you use a straw.

29 | Clutter mates and has babies while you're sleeping.

30 | What was I thinking buying a black cell phone, when I was clearly aware that the inside of my purse was the same color?

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Hope you all have a great weekend!
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xoxo
jordan


6 post a comment :

Emmy said...

I have seen this list. I love the three you added.
And number 4 is so right! Definite need for sarcasm font.

Cheeseboy said...

That poor freezer. Never gets a light. I feel bad for it.

Jess said...

#17 was my FAVORITE! Because I sooooo do that! LOL Now my secret is out!

Sunny said...

Soooo true. Minus 6 i kinda like cursive and I'v been hearing that some schools aren't teaching it anymore. Also i liked reading books at red lights when i drove for a living (it kept me from driving through them)it's amazing how much you can read and how fast you can read books when you do.Lastly both my fridg freezer and deep freezer have lights.No need to feel sorry for them. :)

Lali Johnson said...

First off, your new Header is really nice :)

#14 (do not wash or tumble dry) pretty much describes me to a tea)!

Diana said...

ROTFL! I hadn't seen all of these... so I'm truly glad I stumbled across your blog. Now my own list is complete. :p

LOVE your blog. Don't remember what corner I turned to get here, but hey, you're on my faves list now.

I shall return! :D

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