8.12.2010

{ fairies }

If one was to ask you to name a fairy, any fairy, I bet the Tooth Fairy would come to mind.
Or perhaps the Cleaning Fairy.
Or that ever-elusive Fairy Godmother.
But why?

Why are these 'fairies' the only ones that exist?
Why are these 'fairies' the only ones we talk about?
Why did the person who invented these 'fairies' stop there?

I believe there are plenty of more 'useful' fairies that could've been conjured into existence. If someone can come up with taking a gross tooth from your mouth and placing it under your pillow to receive money, or build up the hopes of every teenage girl that perhaps she can make it to the ball in a beautiful gown and marry a prince, then I think we can channel those creative juices to something that would be way more helpful in our daily lives.

Perhaps:


| The Cadburry Mini Egg Fairy |

Simply write down all the negative things that happened that day, place it under your pillow, and then, when you wake up, the Cadburry Mini Egg Fairy will have left you a miniature bag {or big bag, depending on how bad the day actually was} where the list used to be.



| The Cinnamon Bear Fairy |

Every time you are about to yell, or say a naughty word, the Cinnamon Bear Fairy simply whooshes in and places a Cinnamon Bear directly into your open, ready to scream, mouth.
This would be extremely helpful in my a mommy's life.



| The Poop Fairy |

No, this fairy does not leave you poop, but instead, takes away the poop. Oh yes. Every time poop enters the sacred walls of your home, the Poop Fairy will use her magic eraser and turn all poop, wherever it may be, into Thin Air.
Pure. Clean. Thin. Air.

I could've used the Poop Fairy yesterday when I almost stepped in a small pellet by the toilet.
Hence the reason for this post.
{confession alert}
I needed the Poop Fairy AND the Cinnamon Bear Fairy last night...



*ahem*




There are several other fairies that would TOTALLY be of WAY more use than the Tooth Fairy...

* the bills fairy
*the missing sock fairy
*the diet vanilla coke fairy
*the kid-calming fairy
*the chef fairy
*the PMS fairy
*the tantrum fairy
*the empty toilet roll fairy
*the fitted-sheet-folding fairy
*the spelling/thesaurus fairy
*the money fairy, and
*the blogging fairy
{I receive a surprise every time I blog}
*squeals*

What are some other fairies you could use in your life?

xoxo
jordan

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ps- make sure you use a legitimate Fairy Creating company when coming up with fairies. Especially if they are to be used for your offspring. I wrote a post a while ago on the blessings and dangers of making up fairies with the intent of subduing a child with a dilemma. Please make a note of the disclaimer at the end. That disclaimer was added because of Camryn's experience. And I would also like to mention that the Poop Fairy is not the same as the Potty fairy... FYI.
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6 post a comment :

Cheeseboy said...

Your fairy post is very fairy-ific.

I think I am in need of a overeating fairy that shares my food with me to rid me of calories.

Or a fairy fairy, to beat up the really lame fairies. Tinkerbell, anyone?

Angie Spiker said...

This household needs several fairies:
*Zombie Fairy (destroys the "zombies" of the 3-year-old imagination so she can sleep at night!)
*Dish Fairy (no more doing dishes!)
*Laundry Fairy (washes/dries, folds, and puts away everyone's laundry)
*I could go on!!
*Great post!

The Wifey said...

I love this post. There definitely needs to be more helpful fairies in the world.

Melanie said...

oh your blog is gorgeous!!
love this post.

i need the ironing fairy! if you see her (obviously it's a her... *cough*), send her to me. ;)

Jesyka Illyzahbieth said...

Haha! Those are some great fairies! I could use the weight loss fairy, the short-term memory recovery fairy, and the morning fairy (to make me less of a beast in the morning) LOL :)

Mandy said...

I actually have a *parking fairy. I always find a parking space close to the entrance of wherever I am. I tell my kids it is because I have a parking fairy. Every time I stuggle, (which is very occasionally) my kids say, "Your parking fairy is probably on lunch break." :o) Love this post!

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